There’s never a dull moment in South Africa. Ever.
It’s the reason why relocating when things get nasty to places such as Australia or the Uk are just not options for me. Ever! When things seem to be getting quiet something always is sure to happen in SA…it’s much like a family function that Uncle Smang Mang the alcoholic is invited to. Yes, a bitter exchange of words is bound to happen before the sun sets but we still love him anyway and never fail to invite him for matric dance parties/graduation parties/baby showers or house warming parties.
So this complicated government of ours is once again in trouble…I sigh…When I first heard about the Gupta scandal I was in awe…Not at the carelessness, lack of responsibility or the racism that went down at Sun city by some of the family members (shame on them). No not that, it’s that saying that Madiba said that “South Africa belongs to all who live in it” that had me stirred up. I too want to enjoy the benefits that come with living in Mzansi like the Gupta’s experienced that day. So this is my letter to Bab Zuma… *Clears throat*
Dear Mr President
My name is Pops and I will not judge the way you govern the country coz really it must be hard. My job is hard too but yours sheesh… it must be back breaking, I feel you. Really I do. The reason I am writing to you sir is about the recent Gupta thang that went down. I know you say you had nothing to do with it and all that and I believe you, seriously…I do. The thing is, I plan on getting married soon and just need to know where I stand.
I think the man in my life has a few surprises in store for me on the “big day” so I just need to know if we too can go wild…Will he be able to have an extravagant wedding for me like the Gupta’s? Can I be escorted to my wedding venue by the flying squad too? Can my gifts be safe guarded by muscled men and women who will guard my guests as if they are royalty without passports and visa’s? Can I Mr president, please? Can my Shwam Shwam and I please use the state funds to land our jet filled with our aunties, cousins and uncles from all across Mzansi at the Waterkloof Air Force Base in Pretoria…pretty please? I promise no one will get in trouble for it, again. Can I also have the “Wedding of the century” and maybe later get featured on Top Billing with Bonang as she interviews us.
Please do consider it, or must I ask Mr Mantashe first?