Have you ever wondered how some girls just manage to get it all? The trendiest clothes, latest shoe labels, Burberry coats and lavish handbags, the endless wining and dining in the most expensive restaurants. How do they do it? Well, I’m gonna break it down for you! They have been given a misleading title of “Gold-diggers”. But they are not, they are “Borderline Prostitutes”.
Yes, I said it!
I know a couple of women who indulge in this hobby. They didn’t find themselves in this desperate situation, they put themselves there. They are influenced by the likes of Khanyi Mbau and your Babalwa Mneno’s of this country. These are women that don’t want to work hard for anything and just want to use men who are wealthy to get these material things which they stupidly think that they couldn’t get for themselves. And don’t get it wrong, they are not victims here; they are well aware that they are being used for sex by these men. This is why their approach will always be on the slutty, whorish angle. They will even go as far as approaching a man themselves and start a coherent conversation about what they can do for each other. Like, to be their trophy girl or their whore, and this man just has to be her provider. He can be as ugly as sin, but if his wallet is thick then he will be her Denzel Washington, any day. Some women will take to using Muti (traditional medicine) to target the men that they want. But that’s another story for another day.
Lola’s boyfriend didn’t know that he was screened the day he introduced himself to her. She’d Googled on her Blackberry and his name appeared on the first page – jackpot! His substantial salary was important to her, as this would cover for her shopping sprees, and maintain her monthly hair salon visits which amount to about R8000. This made him her no.1 priority. She works around his schedule and it doesn’t bother her that he lives in Nigeria with his wife and kids. He commutes to South Africa every 3 months to see Lola and attend to business meetings. But Lola has to perfect herself by doing her hair, nails, heavy make-up when he is in the country. She is not allowed to see or date other men. Dinner dates are restricted to private restaurants or hotels where her outfit has to be corporate wear to avoid any speculations from the public.
I can handle all of the above compromises but the part where Lola has to play dumb when she’s with him so he can feel wiser, clever and more powerful is where I struggle. She has a degree in literature and that doesn’t matter to him. He once told her she must keep her mouth shut and only speak when spoken to. It was clear right there that stepping out of line meant cutting herself off from his funds.
Lola’s worst fear is that his wife will find out about this arrangement. It has become Lola’s responsibility to ensure she never does. She would be cut off immediately because he wasn’t prepared to lose his family over a fling with a 26 year old from South Africa who knew nothing about taking care of a real man. Lola wasn’t Nigerian, couldn’t cook a decent meal and wasn’t well-domesticated. Reality soon hit her when she received the most frightful email from a Dr-so-and-so saying, “Stay away from my husband. I am a very powerful woman and I will destroy you little girl.”
This was it. It was over for Lola. Now, she lives her life eyeing other rich men who only end up using her for worse things, and she doesn’t even get paid much from them. My question is, does she realize that she has crossed the line. Or is this borderline prostitution?
When do we realize that we have crossed the line?
Written by a DIVA – not a prostitute!